WHYjelly.

shucks.

2010-09-02T14:36:00.002+08:00

Blogspot blogs (but not Blogger) (Status varies.Blocked still 4 July 2010. Unblocked for most of 2008.)
Blogspot blogs and Blogger are fully blocked as of 15 May, 2009.[20] [12][13]
Some Blogspot blogs are blocked such as bbcrfa.blogspot.com, Tales from a Draughty Old Fen and chinagfw.blogspot.com as of 18 April 2009.
Blocked before 15 October 2007[14]
Unblocked 1 July 2008[14]

...ok... I dunno why. But I'm kinda upset. I'm not sure if LJ works either. If that's not enough,

Hotmail email service
Unblocked as of 2 July 2009 Was blocked as of 2 June 2009. [17][12][13]

Now I don't even know if I can go on msn messanger. As far as I know, I can use it when I went to china in like whut, year 2000? I dunno, but my bro says he used it when we went china earlier this year. But since I don't really use msn unless necessary, i didn't know.
No frets tho. Gmail's still working. You guys can still email me via t.yunjia@gmail.com.
Ok darlings, I love you. Take care of yourselves. If I blog, then good. If there're no posts, then that means blogger is really blocked.

Sorry, I need a place to save my vids.

2010-08-31T23:26:00.001+08:00

In 08Days.

2010-08-26T14:22:00.002+08:00

In that amount of time, I'll be taking off to Xiamen. I have friends who were like, "Don't worry, it's only 5 months. You'll be back before you know it."
I dunno. Somehow I think I'm over-reacting. Or maybe it's just the emotional me. It is like a tsunami of sadness sweeping me off the ground every time I think about 03sept. I can't take it. When I'm not distracted by my SHINee or Lady GaGa Biography, I'll think about it. I'll think about my family and friends and tears will just flow down unintentionally.
I seem to be the only one being so emotional about leaving. I didn't really see any of my acquaintances actually being sad when they left Singapore. Maybe it's cos I'm too pampered by my family. Maybe I'm over-reliant. This is an opportunity for me to really walk on my own two feet (for a few months).
Hopefully I'll be strong enough on 03sep and not cry in front of everyone in the airport. I'll do my best. (: I have to be strong. COME ON WHYJAY YOU CAN DO IT!
My dear friends, if you see this, SMS me and tell me you'll miss me. I love you guys.

If I can,

2010-08-23T20:55:00.003+08:00

I would have gotten 2 piercings on my left ear, 3 on my right and 1 on the nose.
I would have gotten a butterfly tattoo on my wrist
my hair would be done colourfully
I would sleep at 3am everyday and wake up at 11am
I would have watched youtube all day
I WOULD TRAVEL AROUND THE WORLD
I would have build proper housings and other infrastructure in the 3rd world countries
I would have lowered the transport fares
I would have a room full of nice clothes, shoes, spectacles and bags
I would have a library full of good books and manga
I will marry the almighty Key Kim Kibum 'cos he's a uber cool family guy
I will marry Reita 'cos whenever he plays his bass, he makes my heart beat one zillion times faster
I would eat ice cream and cheesecake everyday and not get fat

Random much. But that's me.
I WANT TO HIGHLIGHT MY HAIR. )< Maybe next year.

Currently listening to JoJo - SHINee

SHINee FANDOM :D

2010-08-04T13:30:00.001+08:00

OMG MINHO IS LIKE <3 It's been a long time since I fangirl to this extent. Luckily no-one's at home :X Shit. Asthma attack, seriously.

OHNO SHINEE D:

2010-08-02T22:32:00.000+08:00

Their hair is just....... appalling.

Moody me,

2010-08-02T19:35:00.002+08:00

I think it's really stressful being in this family. It's tiring to live up to their expectations. I don't think they see the things I've sacrificed for them. They blinded by what they can only see. The thing about me is that I don't like to show them I care. It makes me disgusted. But in actual fact, they are really the most important people of my life. But I don't think they believe that I actually care. Honestly? I'm sick and tired of arguing with them. If they wanna think that way, fine. I'm really tired trying to explain to them the purpose of my actions. They just don't see how I have done so much for them, if they actually compare me to most people I know. Who, in this century, actually helps their parents with their office work, housework, or even bother to cancel their other plans to have a dinner or lunch with their parents? When I asked my mom if she has ever compared us to the kids of her friends'/siblings'. She said no, but rather, she compared us to herself when she was younger. She said when she was our age, she wouldn't talk back to her parents, unlike us who even dare to talk back to our teachers. The thing is, this is the new century. We are not as conservative as last time. We are now more daring to voice out our opinions to protect ourselves. And I'm not even talking about using words to attack people. At least I do think we should have the right to speak up on what is right and wrong, instead of being pushed around by adults who are trapped in the morals of the past. But no, I give up trying to talk back to my parents. They have the mind of a rock, unable to think flexible or change the way they thing. They think that being adults, they surely make the right choices that are beneficial to their children because they have 'experience with age'. Actually, I beg to differ. The world is changing constantly. What is the right thing to do previously could be wrong in the next second, and vice-versa. These parents, with mind like a rock, are not able to adapt to these changes. As I've said earlier, they are trapped in their past morals. They are not able to let go of what they believe in.
I give up on trying to talk back. I'm tired now.

bodyache

2010-08-01T15:58:00.001+08:00

I CAN'T BELIEVE MY WHOLE BODY IS ACTUALLY ACHING AFTER RUNNING ONLY ABOUT 10KM!OMG I FEEL SO DARN RUSTY.
And tmrw I have driving lessons in the morning. HOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWW?! )':

I'm a YouTube addict! D:

2010-07-30T23:42:00.001+08:00

RING DING DOOOOOONG <3 <3 Believe me, I tried to dance. So far, I can only get the ringdingdong part correct. HAHAHA!

reminisce, just for abit.

2010-07-29T22:03:00.002+08:00

听见星星叹息用寂寞的语气
告诉不眠的云是否放弃日夜追寻风的动静
心事不停累积变成脸颊的泪滴
你始终没留意我特别在乎你
你却像风一样左顾右盼而行

全世界只有你不懂我爱你
我给的不只是好朋友而已
每个欲言又止浅浅笑容里
难道你没发现我渴望讯息

我应该如何让你知道我爱你
连星星都知道我心中秘密
今夜在你窗前下的一场雨
是我暗示你我有多(么)委屈

你还不懂雨永远不会停

------
I listened to this song... like about 10 years ago? when I was in primary school. I thought it has a nice tune then. So when I finally youtube this song again 10years later, I found that it's actually quite... meaningful? You know when we're young, we only cared about the tune of the music. But now that we slowly mature, we start to appreciate the written lyrics. At least, i think i do. I mean, for this song I feel each and every sentence makes sense. It's like a story. I really really like this song. Give it a play, seriously.

I am NINEteen today

2010-07-26T22:10:00.002+08:00

...and yet I have to do my sis' homework because we had dinner outside. HARHAR. Loser, I know.
Okay, so this year's birthday both left me with sad and happy memories.
Sad cos I've been scolded by my parents... yet again.
Happy cos I have my dear dear dear dear friends who actually took time to plan something for me.

Last friday, 23JULY2010, had dinner with part of 2s04. Bex, meiqi, ibra, joel, weiming and aaron. Had Sakae even though it is not halal, oh dear. But then, we had dinner like normal. And I mean, really normal. With limmeiqi being the center of attraction because of her bimbotic-ness. HAHA! Suddenly a cake just appeared and they started ~~singing~~ screaming the happy birthday song. SUPER paiseh please. And they bought me a backpack! Awesome compartments. I can put so many things insiiiiiiide! :D Arcade was fun too :D

Saturday, 24JULY2010, played beach volleyball with ah meng, sam gaga, hock, hongkiat,sheryl and ... friends. Well, it wasn't exactly a birthday celebration but I love volleyball. Okay! Had dinner at sizzlers with Tai, mandy and ht. Their treat. But was late for the dinner cos I was watching fireworks with sam gaga. BUT THE FIREWORKS WAS NAISE. hmm. ok. so was the dinner. Then ht had to go off to meet his lovers so the rest of us went to play L4D2. omgosh after months of not playing, I FORGOT THE KEYS. Now, if only they had played starwars lego on wii...

Sunday, 25JULY2010, had lunch with ss, py, jess, sam gaga, zu, ethel and jienarn. They made a cake from icing room! HAHAH. Other than the fruits inside, I LOVE IT. omg, speaking about the fruits makes me sick. Ok, anyway. Hur. It was quite a short one. After lunch, ss, sam gaga and zu came over to play wii and laugh at twits' facebook. Truly hilarious. 6.30pm went to kbox golden with ss and sam gaga. Smuggled chicken rice in omg. took turns to eat so as not to get caught. HAHA! PRO. Oh. Sam gaga got me a LADY GAGA BIOGRAPHY! :3 HOHOHO!

Monday, 26JULY2010. Bloody boring day. Had dinner at night at Ellenborough market cafe at swissotel merchant. HAH. RECIEVED MY BELOVED GAZETTE SHIVER SINGLE WITH DVD FROM CDJAPAN OMG THANKS TOMEI! <3 Ripped the package off and watched the pv. omggggg my REITA <3 uber bloody hawt.

Tmrw, 27JULY2010, Cash studio with tomei. WOOOHOO.

Wednesday, 28JULY2010, Volleyball training! <3 ok, no link. DINNER with jq, jiannuren, siang and sam gaga. :D

Thanks to those who fb-ed and smsed me happy birthday. Love you guys so so so so so so so so so much. Really. Who needs a boyfriend when you have so many wonderful people already? haha! OK KIDDING! For those "close friends" who doesn't even know it's my birthday today, shame on you (: Actually I don't care also lah.
Evil pig still MIA ):

down and under

2010-07-25T23:52:00.004+08:00

I guess it's just PMS. Teared abit during kbox and on the bus just now, omg so paiseh can. Just thinking about leaving to china makes me feel kinda lonely alr. ): and that makes me... sad. The thought of not seeing my loved ones for almost half a year is just depressing. I won't be celebrating christmas and the new year with them. I'm also afraid. Afraid that when I'm finally back, everything will be different. I'm just afraid the whole world will move on without me.
Even though I'm really afraid, I'll still go. I wanna prove to my family that I can also be independent. Actually you can say that I'm throwing tantrums. When I'm at home, it just feels kinda like everyone has something to criticize about me. Because the whole world will be going to university and I won't, it makes me a loser to them, i feel. They pick on every little thing I do. From taking an afternoon nap to sleeping too late to sleeping too early to waking up late to waking up early to not making my bed to watching too much dramas to reading too many manga to going out too late to going out too much to playing too much wii games...everything.
And it doesn't help that my evil pig went MIA. I'm just worried.
Ok, I shall make a proper birthday post tmrw. kthanksbye. :D

Orson Oh should be burnt alive!

2010-07-23T14:50:00.001+08:00

Orson [Never ending cycle of Black & White] says:
yoz.

whyjelly says:
helloooo

Orson [Never ending cycle of Black & White] says:
Happy Birthday!!

whyjelly says:
errrrrrrrrrrrr
it's not my birthday yet lah dey!

Orson [Never ending cycle of Black & White] says:
D8
it's an early greeting : D

whyjelly says:
excuses!
D<

Orson [Never ending cycle of Black & White] says:
ok, i'll wish again tml : (

whyjelly says:
TOMORROW'S NOT MY BIRTHDAY EITHER!
D<
haiyoooooo
why does everyone think my birthday is on 23?

Orson [Never ending cycle of Black & White] says:
erm... it's like the 12 days of Christmas!
12 days of Yunjia's Bdae!

whyjelly says:
excuses!
D<

Orson [Never ending cycle of Black & White] says:
D8
okay. i'll wish again on sunday then : (

whyjelly says:
sunday's not my birthday!
)<

Orson [Never ending cycle of Black & White] says:
i meant at sunday 23:59. : D

whyjelly says:
right
you just went fb right?!

Orson [Never ending cycle of Black & White] says:
nooooo, i remember your bdae since your cousin brought the dvd!

I need and want.

2010-07-20T16:31:00.002+08:00

I need a backpack to bring to xiamen. Thing is, I'm thinking of getting one from 'spin-the-bottle' but EVERYONE has one. ok, exaggerating here. Then i'm thinking of a leather kuku bag. But so exp pls. Might as well save up for a PEN. )<>

when there's nothing else to say

2010-07-14T21:57:00.002+08:00

WELL!

...

err....

Ok, I'm just bored. I don't know what to write. I bet everyone's sick and tired of me ranting about the world and how life's unfair. THEN. Should I write something that is... not so gloomy? OKAY! You've got it!

...

err...

Seriously I can't think of any. OKAY! I got it! I'M A SIZE M NOW LIKE OMGWTFBBQ?! And my jeans size went down by one. BUT, I'm still not a size 8. Le sigh. Gotta work harder. Arcade-ing with tomei tmr. Hopefully I'll lose some fats! :D

Something interesting that happened today? Hrn. I bought a dress for social night, nail polish and omg, a lipstick. I tried to apply it on just now, and my lips looked like a clown's. I guess I need to brush up on my putting-on-lipstick skill. Shit to the max. After the lipstick shall be walking with high heels. Shit to the whole world. But I shall persevere. GOGOGO!

ok, it's 2207. I shall sleep. Good night, world.

Ok, so now I got accepted.

2010-07-13T20:42:00.002+08:00

Yeah, I think i didn't mention this previously? But Xiamen university has already sent an email informing me of my enrollment. Ok, so is this good or bad news? Good, of cos, if you're simply looking at the acceptance part. Today my mom cried. Saying that she might need to undergo another operation. *MIGHT* Our family doctor told her she should expect one. But then again, the doctor might not be right. He was just giving his opinion. Ultimately there's still the CT scans and the X-ray before they decide whether she needs to be operated on. She was crying and saying if the thing is really cancerous she is thinking of not operating and just live on for another 10years or so. What the fuck seriously I don't like how she's thinking ok. I guess I was more angry with her than being sad. She said cos if the operation fails she might just "go". But if no surgery is done then she still get to live about 10 more years. So she rather "go later", when we're adults, than risk "going now". And she was like telling me that if she goes suddenly, i have to be sure to find a stable job like being a teacher because it's seem to her like it's my passion to be one. Seriously I find this very much like those drama shows. Tell me, do I have the right to be angry with her?

Ok, the point is, if that thing is cancerous, do you think i can still study happily there? Any retard knows the answer is a bloody no. But of cos, it is not confirmed whether the thing is cancerous. But my mom encouraged me to go. She said she'll be fine. Right. Fuck. Why this? Seriously I can't stand it. I guess I should just hope that it's nothing serious.

And that evil pig never sms me today. Nobody to cheer me up. ): Ok, is this miracle or what. He just texted me right after i finished that sentence.

Boyfriends

2010-07-13T12:04:00.001+08:00

Ok, so I'm weird. This happens when I have no work and so school - I
tend to "over-reflect". Yes, I know, how can someone over-reflect
right? I thought too deeply (disclaimer: deeply doesn't necessarily
mean maturely) into the 'boyfriend' issue. Ok, I know, why am I
thinking about it right? Well, there's this irritating girl in fb who
keeps updating about her crush and it is, erm, annoying. She's bloody
lovesick. And actually I don't see the point in her posting it in fb
for like 200people to see. What she trying to show anyway?
Ok sorry for digressing. And also I have a close friend who is kinda
lovesick also. Hurhurhur!
So! Ok. I shall get on with my story. Some of you might know, I have
this collegue of mine who is close to me. Let's just say he's actually
a funny and nice person luh, though he is always physically abusing
me. He has a girlfriend alr. But still, I like him. Ok wait, before
you jump into any conclusions and go spread rumor, pls finish reading
this post first. So after my contract ended, I miss him alot and I
kept thinking about him. At first I thought I had a crush on him. But
then I thought again, why do I miss him? Which part of him do I
actually miss? I miss him because at work he makes me less lonely. I
miss him because he is a fun person to be with. But when I'm with him
my heart doesn't pound like crazy. In fact, I feel very comfortable
with him. And after smsing everyday, I find that I don't miss him that
much alr. This kind of feeling is like when your friend just migrated.
For the first few days/weeks you miss them like crazy. But after a
while other things starts taking up space in your mind and 'miss'
turns into 'remember'. If I really did have a crush on him, I would
have miss him like crazy even now and my heart would have pound out of
my body everytime we SMS. But it didn't. So I miss him, because he is
a good friend. And I feel that because I am not working, there's
actually no point in keeping contact anymore. So I felt sad as I
stepped out of the office on my last day. But he still text me
everyday. That means he treats me as a friend, not just a collegue.
For that, I am grateful. Moral of the story? Think twice before you
think you have a crush on someone.
But thinking about it, if all guys makes me feel like they're my
friends, then I guess I wouldn't have a boyfriend in my life. Having a
boyfriend is just like having a best friend whom you can get sexual
pleasures from. True?

Sent from my iPhone

stolen meme!

2010-07-11T23:54:00.001+08:00

1. Your ex is on the side of the road, on fire. What do you do?
Though I have no ex... but I guess I'll put the fire out? I mean, who would let someone else die like that?

2. Your best friend tells you she is pregnant. What is your reaction?
OMG! How was the sex?

3. When is the last time you wanted to punch someone in the face?
hmmm. Punch ah. Just now. Cos my sis accidentally punched my mouth.

4. What is the last thing you spent money on?
Fruits.

5. Do you think you gained or lost weight this past month?
I do think my pants are more loose now. But maybe the washing machine stretched it!

6. Crunchy or Puffy Cheetos?
Puffy i guess. :/

7. The first person on your friends list just called you a bitch. What do you do?
And that would be... Alvin Lim. I guess it'll be ok, cos he's always joking.

8. Congratulations! You just had a son. What’s his name?
Hmmm. Can't think of one.

9. Congratulations! You just had a daughter. What’s her name?
Alice! :D kelly would be nice too!

10. What are you craving right now?
Erm, instant noodles. ._.

11. What was the last thing you cried about?
Erm, not being able to get into uni.

12. When you buy something and your change is 2 cents, do you keep it or tell the cashier to keep it?
There's no 2cents in Singapore but heck I'll take it and put in my coins bank.

13. What color is your tissue box?
PINK!

14. Do you have a ceiling fan in your bedroom, and if so, is there dust on that fan?

What kind of question is that? No it's not a wall fan and yes there is alot of dust on the fan.

15. What was the last voicemail you received about?
last voicemail was from work. Heck, actually I wasn't even working anymore but i went back to visit. And so I just listened to voicemails. Yep, the last one's from a passanger named yusoff. Apparently he left sth on board.

16. Have you ever blocked someone on Facebook?
Nope. Only ignored.

17. Scariest thing you’ve experienced in the last year?
I guess it's when my mom actually got admitted to hospital. Thought I really lost her. xD

18. Do you wear a name tag at work?
NAW. They didn't give me.

19. What kind of car do you want?
WANT. Just a BMW?

20. What do you order when you go to Burger King?
Tendergrill meal.

21. Have you ever had a garage sale?
nah.

22. What color is your cell phone?
black and white. But the cover's orange.

23. What is the last alcoholic beverage you had?
yesterday. I drank my bro's bluberry vodka. He's underaged dammmit.

24. Are you happy right now?
YEP!

25. Who came over to your house last?
yesterday... My bro's friends. Kenneth, flower, boon, kokjun, waterfall.

26. Do you drink beer?
Yeah.

27. Have your brothers or sisters ever told you that you were adopted?
Naw.

28. What is your favorite key on your key chain?
I used to have one with a jacket on. But it's missing now.

29. What was the last movie you watched at home?
MOVIE! Erm, it's really long ago! I guess it's some horror movie with Jess and SS?

30.What is in your pocket?
no pockets here!

31. Who introduced you to your bf/gf/husband/wife?
-not valid-

32. Where do you hurt?
knees. Arms, ass, back.

33. Has someone ever made you a build a bear?
nope.

34. What’s something fun you did today?
Today. The day just started.

35. What is your favorite aisle at Target?
I can't remember what there is over there. But I remembered i like the toys sectiion. :D

36. When is your birthday?
26jul

37. Is there anything hanging from your rear view mirror?
Naw

38. How many states in the US have you been to?
California.Like San fransisco, Las Vegas, LA.

39. What kind of milk do you drink?
I personally like greenfarm's.

40. What are you going to do after this?
Go to sleep

41. Who was the last person you went shopping with?
Ibra and Joel theo

42. What is something you need to go shopping for?
A dress for social night. Or I'm gonna dress like some clubber.

43. Do you have the same first name as one of your relatives?
Nope.

44. What kind of car do your parents drive?
Estima

45. Are you rich?
Middle class.

46. What color is your couch?
Blue and yellow checkered

48. What famous person do you look like?
I dunno!

49. Does someone like you right now?
I dunno!

50. Say you were given a pregnancy test right now. Would you pass or fail?
FAIL LAH

51. Favorite pop-tart flavor?
Don't eat that!

52. Do you know anyone in jail/prison?
I guess I know.

53. What are your plans for the weekend?
Social Night with Ibrahim. Wahaha!

54. Do you like the color green?
I guess so. Quite like yellow.

55. Who was the last person you sent an instant message to?
That tikopeh/evil pig.

56. Last restaurant you went to?

Hurn. I can't really remember! I guess it'll be Marche on Tai's birthday?

57. How many hours did you sleep for last night?
7hours

58. Do you swear at your parents?
Nope! Imma nice.

59. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?
Sure. HAHA!

60. Have you ever changed your clothes while in a vehicle?
Oh yes.

61. What is your ringtone?
errrrrrrrrr. Some iphone lousy ringtone.

62. What were you doing at midnight last night?
smsing that tikopeh and ss. Playing Resident Evil.

I type with my right pinkie up.

2010-07-11T22:19:00.004+08:00

That's what I've realised. And I think it's absolutely spastic. I need to get rid of this habit, yes.

And so these few days, I'm still rotting at home. I feel lost, not having a job and all. Just idling; lepak-ing all day. Go out with friends, do housework, shopping with mom, sms-ing that tikopeh when he's working, watch dramas, read novels and anime, sleep.... like I don't know which direction I'm supposed to go. But then, I don't wanna work now cos if I'm going xiamen in august, that means I'll only work for one month like what's the point? I can't learn anything in one month.

Ok, speaking of Xiamen university, good news!

THEY JUST RECEIVED MY EMAIL LIKE WELL DONE LOR. After 4 emails, they finally recieved ONE. They'll get back within 3 working days meaning... i should get my result by wed? manz.

You know I have this funny feeling that I wont be going to xiamen afterall. Somehow, I can feel that my dad is quite reluctant, after realising that there's some kind of black spots in my mom's abdomen. My dad's like that. He loves my mom alot. Too much that he's too protective of her and it's annoying sometimes. Like, he'll lecture us if we let our mom do too much housework. And especially like now, when our mom is sick, he keeps lashing at us and sometimes even being very unreasonable. I know it's not my mom's fault for falling sick. But it gets irritating sometimes when she KNOWS she's sick and yet she still insists on doing certain housework even though the house looks clean. Then my dad will come back home and see her panting while, say, vacuuming the floor and he'll scold us for slacking. Like, I just don't see the point in vacuuming the floor every bloody day.

ok I shall stop ranting. Disclaimer: I don't hate my parents. i'm just randomly saying.

Anyway for now, I'm partially paralysed. I think I pulled a muscle of my left leg and now I can't walk properly. It hurts. I think even my butt's swollen. Wait, maybe it's just big. My arms feels dislocated and I can't hold things that are more than a kilogram. ): I can't even iron my clothes! Damn. Can someone volunteer and give me a massage?

----fanpost----

OMG SuG's Koakuma sparkling PV is awesome!!! Takeru is super cute ok ok okokokokkkk! *melts* Anyway, I do think Yuuji looks more and more like Kamenashi Kazuya of ~~KUNNT~~ KATTUN. That pouty lips omg SMEX TTM :D :D

Yep. This is yuji. Kame is...

They're like twins.

Ok, SuG's over.

GazettE next, as usual.

Reita's hawt.

Ok, GazettE over.

Arashi. You just have to watch their wii cm. SUPER CUTE. Yes.

Anyway I do feel like a Johnny's freak. I mean omg, I know all the members of Arashi, NEWS, HSJ, KATTUN, SMAP, Kinki kids... and I can't memorise chemistry definitions. D:

Busy, not busy, busy, not busy

2010-07-05T19:14:00.003+08:00

It just feels weird. I'm so free, I feel weird. I know I'm weird, but something is just not right. I guess I'm just too used to working. Yes, I do miss working. And for that people think I'm weird.
I'm signing up for SAT2 for math level 2 and physics. Ok, random much.
Anyway, I just realised why Xiamen university hasn't got back to me yet. The instructions said to put "application" in my email but I typed "admission" instead. WTF. Budden imma gonna call 'em tmr! :D
So these few days, I spent my time going out, spending money, re-watching dramas, disturbing the tikopeh, doing housework, reading manga. So no life please.
Tmr I'll be going shopping with my mom then go driving lessons. I wonder if I can get my licsense before I fly off to Xiamen. :/ Ah wells.

blogging is how i keep my mind working

2010-07-02T16:52:00.002+08:00

and yes, if not, I'll have dementia soon. For some reason, I can't seem to remember what happened in the past. Like, wow the month of June seems to slip by in the blink of an eye. When you ask about work, I can only remember like the last few days of it. In the middle is like a void. LIKE, I just can't remember. I need a prompt, like I'll only remember what happened when i look at my organiser. What's happening to me? I don't like this. ))): On the bus home after work, all I think about is the fun things that happened at work and cute guys. I don't want to be like that. It's so different from what I used to think about in the bus. In the past, I observed my surroundings and criticized on the ugly behaviour of human beings, or think about physics and chemistry. I feel insecure now. I can feel the change in me but I just can't accept it. I can't really explain it but it's like I am changing bit by bit but I don't want to. I feel insecure cos I'm afraid I'll be some kind of bimbo and useless person who only thinks about guys and having fun. That's not who I want to be, definitely. But the change is like automated you know? I didn't notice it until recently when work's ended and I have got alot more time to myself. I'm gonna resist that change, now that I'm more sane. HAHA.
But of course, there are some changes that I should welcome. Yes, after sy and hock's "I think you dress like a guy", I was traumatised. Seriously. I didn't know that. I thought it was just one of my parent's over-exaggerated comments. I bought a skirt and a dress. Yes, after discount. CHEAP dresses. Why cheap? Cos I am not ready to wear them yet. I feel comfortable in pants. I can run, jump, and do so many things. Skirt is absolutely restricting. TTM! I don't find the purpose in wearing skirt but then, since wearing skirt can improve my image by a little (not like I have any to start with) why not? I have to wear them sooner or later, cos im not a booch. I just need some time to get used to this whole skirt etiquette thing, like how i shouldn't sit with my legs wide opened, how i should walk the right way and all sorts of rules. Hopefully by 2012 I'll be able to wear skirt like it's a normal thing. Hopefully. Encourage me.

randomly here and there

2010-07-01T17:35:00.003+08:00

After a long while, I decided to post an entry. Let's see, for the past month, I've been working intensively, like some full time worker. I practically spent more time at the airport than at home. And Ive met some really really nice people there. So yeah on the last day I cried. Luckily those whom I'm closer to are not there, if not I think the situation will be worse. ): Kris gave me a KENZO flower perfume like wow? xD Well, that's the only gift I recieved, unless you count in Aslinda's chinchow.
ok, emotions aside.
I think the GazettE should be made a legend. Why? Cos they are awesome like mad. I especially LOVE their DIM album. Full of great songs. Have been listening to the album on the way to work (cos the duration of the trip to work is exactly one DIM album long). I especially love "In the middle of chaos" "Headache Man" Shiroki Yuutsu" "Leech" "Distress and Coma" "13stairs[-]1" ok if i continue i'll be naming the whole album. :P So you can just imagine how excited I am for my birthday presents. HAHAHA! SHIVERRRRRRRRRRRR <3 <3 Awesome much. Their hairstyle is simply... <3 <3 SMEXY TO THE MAXIMUUUM.
ok, fangirling aside.
I can't believe my family spent $440 in the robinson sales like omg? Still can't accept that.
ok, shock aside.
Just an update. (Though most of you reading my blog should have known alr) I MIGHT be going to Xiamen to attend chinese courses for 4months. And I said, MIGHT. Like, 70%. I'm just waiting for the university to reply me before I pack and leave. No wait, I'll most prolly be flying to Shanghai first before taking an internal flight to xiamen. So, might be leaving in end-August, returning next year end-January. Yep. 4 months. That would mean four months of NO FACEBOOK, NO YOUTUBE, NO MEDIAFIRE. Only tudou and QQ for me. I hope they won't disable blogger. ): or cut off msn, etc.
ok, updates aside.
I'm going to have dinner now. Seeyou.

): again

2010-06-08T22:18:00.002+08:00

I guess my aunty M's coming soon that's why.
First, some fandom.
My sis just came back from Japan and she bought Neo Genesis Yearbook 2009! :D :D REITA OMG! <3 bloody hawt. Ruki's also damn hawt. Aoi also damn hawt. Saga isn't that hawt ):
And what her host family gave her ARASHI MONSTER CD for present like wtf! THANKS TO THE FAMILY! :D :D (though it's RE) MONSTEEEEEEEEEER! <3<3
And then there's Duet Jun edition and I was like dude, they're selling it here alr? But damn nino's hawt. Ohno too :D :D Yamapi is like wtf is wrong with his hair?! At least tego-nyan did something to his hair and now it's better. Massu has a bit of perm! hahah! Kei-chan is cute :D Kattun is now kttun, with akanishi jin on an individual section. AHAHAHA! Speaking of kattun! now that there's no akanishi jin, the group's gonna sound horrid. HAHAHA! I mean the management is alr trying to confort our ears by techno-fying kttun's voices alr, and I thank them for it. Wait, that just mean kttun would have to lip-synch all the way for their asia tour. AHAHAHA! Ooops i should stop laughing at them though I really like kttun. I think they're funny and interesting. It's just they can't sing and dance as well as Jin.

ok fandom aside.
Work is uhm. fun? I dunno really. I'm really bored out of my mind there. There are senior staff there alr! And all I do is to just sit there like some lost duck and stare into space. The people there are quite friendly. like 99% Malays. I'm not racist here but I find it irritating when they kept speaking in Malay. But Malays are very friendly! HAHA! Ok now back to the job. I do feel that my presence is unnecessary there seriously! And I made things go wrong twice alr! And brought trouble to the dept! >.< Sorreh leh.
I've got my first screaming today for some things that I've never done. Like, this passenger he called and said he's pissed and stuff and he has been calling for the past 2hours (though i swear he didn't call in that much times) and one of my collegue is supposed to send a email to him but he didnt receive. But like OMG it's not my fault? Hahaha. Maybe next time I should just keep quiet. And he'll think that he's acting like an idiot talking to himself. HAHAHA!
But seriously I have nth to do there when the senior staff are on shift! ): They keep telling me to go jalan jalan. And so I visited T3 today! Shall visit more places tmr. >D

2010-06-06T06:56:00.000+08:00

Today I was on the bus to work when a lady came on board and stood
beside my seat. Well I know she's obviously old. Like prolly 50+yrs
old? And she was standing in a way that I know her legs can't take it.
Yet I was reluctant to give my seat up to her. Why you say? Cos I was
sitting just next to the window and there's this uncle who smelled of
chicken essence sitting beside me. I know if I wanted to get off my
seat I must squeeze past him and brush my big butt against his arm. I
hate these kind of people. Can't they just stand up and let me just
walk pass? Ok back to the point. I was thinking to myself then. What
if in the future karma will bite me in the back and the young'uns in
the future won't give their seat up for me? Then I thought to myself
again, what did the aunty do to deserve this? Is this karma too? Did
this aunty do sth bad in the past such that mr Karma doesn't allow her
a seat in the bus? Hmmm.

Sent from my iPhone

boys

2010-05-30T23:50:00.002+08:00

I see and I find it weird.
What do you think of guys using emoticons?
To me, I think emoticons are used mostly by females. So emoticons are feminine. And therefore guys using emoticons are feminine. Am I wrong? Are there people who disagree that emoticons are feminine? I need opinions.
But guys who don't use emoticons are boring. Personally, I like guys who use emoticons. What do you think? You can even sms me your answer.
I don't understand boys. ._.

):

2010-05-30T14:02:00.003+08:00

My dad destroyed my hard disk. I know he didn't do it purposely and that blaming him won't do any good. But I'm still bloody angry whenever I remember that my 50+gigabyte worth of videos were killed by him. )< Yes, I got a new hard disk but I DON'T WANT A NEW HARD DISK. I want THAT hard disk. That hard disk that includes my Cartoon KATTUN, Himitsu no Arashi Chan, Arashi no shukudaikun, PVs, Shounen Club, and so many of my favourite videos! Some of them can't even be downloaded anymore.
First rejections, then criticisms, then this. Isn't it a series of unfortuante events?
On the other hand, pasir ris beach on friday, club NANA and volleyball yesterday were awesome. I'm in LOVE! <3 ...with volleyball I mean.

I'm ok

2010-05-26T14:36:00.002+08:00

I'm more or less a little more calmed. But now I have chest pains. I hope it's not serious! D:
Anyway, I'm now deciding whether I should continue my education because I just don't know what I wanna be in the future. Maybe I'll just take a break for a year or two. The only problem is that I don't think I have the courage to tell everyone that I'm not studying in a university. What I wanna do now is to take a few years break, get some working experience and be more matured. Then I'll take SAT and study in the states. I know I'll be a few years behind but that's ok. The only problem is my pride. I just have this feeling that people will be laughing at me. ): Maybe I should stop thinking of what people thinks and decide on what I wanna do and what I think is best for me. I just hope I have the strength to convince the people that I believe I'll make the right choice. For one I know my dad's insisting that I retake A levels. He apparently thinks that taking A level is like taking SAT math - a breeze. But I really don't want to take A levels anymore. I am certain. I just hope that my dad understands, and my mom...and everyone else.

Anyway I wanna thank my friends and family who have been there for me during this lousy period of time. Really touched by how they keep cheering me up.
Tomei for her countless advice, academic and non-academic wise and also her reminders on how bad my english is. Maybe I should use the break and brush up on my language.
Lesbo partner Bex and Bimbo friend Meiqi who even offered to treat me to ice cream. (If you know them they do this only once in a rainbow moon)
Uncle Rick for his help.
Cousin kh for trying to help at a very very very bad time. (After I got a long lecture by uncle rick)
Parents who can't bear to see me cry every night.
Nataku who *tries* to cheer me up. HAHA!
JiaQi and Eileen who always says "Cheer up" whenever I have a ): face.

I realised who cares and who doesn't. If your name is not up there but you're reading this, i think you care too (:

2010-05-25T23:33:00.000+08:00

Why can't I just be someone else? I hate being born stupid.

2010-05-25T16:22:00.000+08:00

I need some time.

untitled.

2010-05-24T19:38:00.002+08:00

The more I write, the more I can't go on. This is fucking depressing seriously. All day long, facing the computer, alternating between videos, facebook and Microsoft Words. How lively. I can't take it anymore. It doesn't help that my parents take turns to come to my room and ask "Have you finish your letter" like 10 fucking times each. I know they care. I really do. But really, just shut up. I know after I submitted my appeal they're gonna go like "Has the result been out yet" another 10 times each everyday. I really really really really really really really really can't wait to work. This is some of the times I really really really really really hate being at home. And it's bad to keep asking people to review my appeal letter. First, it's embarassing. Second, it troubles people. Third, I look bloody desperate. Forth, I lose my pride. My pride has already been completely stripped off and now it's in the negative region. If this continues, I think I'm going to have social withdrawal syndromes. It is not a joke even though after reading it I feel my life's been one.

life sucks

2010-05-23T18:24:00.003+08:00

I swear, I swear man! I swear my parents are picking on every little thing I do. Especially after the rejection letters. And I've had it! Why can't they understand! For example, I took a nap just now. 5-6pm. I was so tired. I was writing my appeal letter yesterday til like 2am again. Some aunt called the house phone at 9am today and no one was at home except my sleeping sister. So obviously I was the one answering the phone. That aunt is super talkative. At 9am in the morning, she kept asking questions about my mom and repeating the same point over and over again. At fricking 9am in the morning. I was grumpy alr. Then the bloody getai music started blasting at the pasar malam. At 9am in the morning. My dad and bro got home at 10am. Woke me up. Fine, i give up. Grumpy the whole day. Doesn't help that I have my period. And I need more sleep during this period, period ahah. They left again at 11am. I worked on my letter until 12nn, when i couldn't take it and took a nap. 1215! My sis called home and ask if mom is back. 1230 she reached home and said "DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS ALR?!" She thought I was still sleeping after she left home at 10am. I GIVE UP! got up and did my stuff. 5pm, couldn't take it. And the cramps are killing me. I slept. 6pm mom woke me up. My dad JUST HAS to add on "Now her sleeping time is reversed." Wtf please. Just because they had a nap earlier it means that my sleeping time is reversed?! Seriously pissed off. I lack sleep, period.
My dad is seriously unreasonable and doesn't understand me at all. After I got my rejection letters, he went like "Oh you see it's because you don't read books" But the thing is I read all the time. When I read English novels, he'll say "Don't read too much of your novels. Newspaper will do you better" wtf?! And then he'll say "You're always reading english novels and not chinese ones." He just seem to have something to say no matter what kind of books I read. Once, I was reading journey to the west, CHINESE VERSION, when he came over and say "See, i know you're reading english books again. Why don't you read chinese books?" I told him what I was reading and he said "But you don't read enough" Right. So am I supposed to read 4 chinese books at once? HAH.
It sucks to be me right?
So yesterday me ss and jess were sitting like uncles in a coffeeshop talking about the future at 12midnight. HAHA. Uncle talks without beer. They say I have a tai tai look. Right. AHHA. And I was like saying how I was thinking not to give birth in the future. Naw, naw. I wouldn't want my children to suffer in future. They are born into this world to be tortured. Can't you see? Havent you been through the torture yourself? The ugliness of society, the stressful life, etc etc. It's not that I don't love my future child. People who know me should know that I love babies/children. I love them too much I don't want them to be born into this ugly world. Mankind should just disappear after my generation, seriously. Oh no, the misanthrope in me is taking over! I shall stop now.

Me of little faith

2010-05-18T18:41:00.002+08:00

You may laugh at this post.
Ive got rejection letters from all universities i applied to. The thing is, I went to "ask god" back at my hometown and they said "pray everyday and you'll get a place in university". I prayed like some dog everyday, even refilling the oil in the damn cup and help out with the what-not religious things and I still got fucking rejected? What a joke. I was agnostic once. I'm becoming an atheist soon. Or I'm already one now. YES. Destroy the world. Wahahaha!

contrast

2010-05-17T18:26:00.002+08:00

It's ironic how my blog posts are always so gloomy while my blog skin is pure white. Hurhurhur. I should stop being such a misanthrope and stop critisizing things...not. HAHA!
Thanks for all the sms of concern. Don't worry, I won't think of suicide. Suicide troubles people. If you jump off a building, imagine the shock when people find you dead in a pool of blood and your head all cracked and stuff. Or if you jump onto the MRT rail, imagine the trouble when those workers have to scrap your body off the train. If you stab yourself at home when your family's off for a holiday, imagine the smell that lingers and how it'll suffocate people. Please luh I'm not like those STUPID ATTENTION SEEKING suiciders who troubles others. If I want to die, I would die after my parents die. So then I would feel the pain instead of them feeling it. If I want to die, I'll use up my money to travel around the world first then stop at tibet and freeze to death at the Himalayas. At least no one have to prepare a grave for me. HAHA. Save money save time. And I get to enjoy the scenery for eternaty. :D

2010-05-15T01:08:00.001+08:00

The biggest regret that I have is being born into this fucking world.

Sent from my iPhone

):

2010-05-13T22:40:00.002+08:00

I'm sad. ): Her conversation section is still at the first page of my phone. Everytime I see it I feel guilty. OMG i know i sound totally like a lesbian ok but i'm not. I still don't dare to talk to her. Just shut me down.

emotions like rollercoaster

2010-05-10T21:09:00.002+08:00

I know I did something awefully wrong. I did something I hate most to other people. I actually ps-ed someone at the very last minute for selfish reasons. I wanted to go k-box instead of Zouk even though I told my friend that I'll be there. My friend waited for us but we went K-box instead. A joke right? Anyone would have gotten angry. But is it wrong to choose something you like to do over other things? For one, I wasn't in the mood to club cos I was in jeans and sandals. Also, I enjoy spending time with my other friends so much who doesn't want to club that I don't want to just end the night like that. Is it wrong of me to be selfish? Is it wrong to choose to do something that you like? I'm not saying I'm right in my ways. I do feel remorseful after the whole thing. And I did regret. Not regretting having choosing k-box over clubbing. I regret telling my friend that I'll go. But that doesn't mean I don't like my clubbing friend. If my clubbing friend didn't leave first to go clubbing, we could have gone k-boxing together and I wouldn't be so set on going kbox.
I apologised. I don't think it'll work. But I tried. I want to stop thinking about this.

I am a MISANTHROPE :(

2010-05-07T11:59:00.002+08:00

Well, not that serious i guess. Not to the extend that I'll isolate myself from the world. Or kill every single man (or woman) I see. I do dislike Mankind. Its decomposed beauty. I don't think of myself as perfect in any way. I criticize human's ugly points. Doesn't mean i don't have any. The fact that I even criticize at all shows my ugliness within.
This is a quote from the GazettE's song, translated, [A moth under the skin].
"You resemble a butterfly. It is only a pretense. You forgot to have been called a moth sometime…"
I can't say I know exactly what it means. But from what I interpreted, it means you go around thinking and making yourself look like you're beautiful but people actually thinks you're ugly.

Fishmongers

2010-05-06T13:33:00.003+08:00

What do fishmongers do? They selfish. HAHA! I know it's old but.
Yeah, anyway I just kinda think... if being selfish is a good or bad thing. I mean, yeah people will go "obviously it's a bad thing". Like, obviously, because that's what you were taught since young right? Like your mom will go "Oh don't be selfish! Share your toys with your siblings!" Obviously the hidden meaning of it is that being selfish is bad right? But do people grow up to be selfless? Nah. If you're really not selfish, you wouldn't even be studying, working or living. By studying you're taking up spaces in the school and that means lesser chance for others to study. By working, you're taking up work which other people need. By living you're using up scarce resources. Yeah. So selfish is not completely bad. Everyone is selfish. But that's only 2 stages of selfishness.
The last stage of selfishness is when you completely have no intention of helping or caring about anyone but yourself. I call them the Ultimates. All these Ultimates do is to talk about themselves. All the time. They completely don't ask about others and whenever their friends tell them about their troubles, the Ultimates will surely find a way to twist the conversation so that the conversation will be about them. They just can't bear to talk about other people cos it hurts their ears when they do so. They just can't bother to know what other people are doing because it takes up unnecessary space in their brains. They expect you to listen to their stories but not telling them cos they don't give a shit. Usually when you tell them about your day, they go "uh uh. Eh you know I..." Like, the words I and ME are the only pronouns they know. There is no YOU in it.
Please do your own classification. If you're at that ultimate stage then well, you're hopeless. You might think that being at the last stage is no big deal and that it doesn't harm you. Well, if it doesn't harm you then you're one lucky person born with charismatic good looks or you're good in bed. Serious. Why then would any sane person want to hang out with selfish and egoistic people? Selfish people are definitely hated by many people. Even if you have the brain and skills to be promoted to a higher social status, people other than gold-diggers and boot-lickers would still not want to be associated to you. At least I know I won't.
But then again, these selfish people wouldn't even notice if people are being hostile to them or if they're being hated. They're too selfish to care.

if only

2010-05-05T20:06:00.002+08:00

There are at least 10 if only-s i can list now. Life's full of regrets and unfairness ain't it? I should stop regretting and complaining shouldn't I? I mean, I deserve what I get. I can't help that my brain ain't made for studying.
I realised last year that studying wasn't meant for me. I hate studying. I used to say that it's ok if I can't get into a university. I can just get into some culinary school and learn bakery which is one of my interests. But you know parents. They think that only getting a degree is good for you. If I can't get into a university, I'm actually fine with it. But then I'll still be depressed cos I know I didn't live up to my parent's expectations and because then I can see how stupid I really am that I studied so hard and couldn't get anything while other people can just study a few days before and get good grades. I not made to study. Going to a JC was a big mistake. For one, just trying to sit for A levels with my kind of O level grade is a complete joke. The fact that i couldn't score well with PSLE and O levels, well, I don't think that's purely coincidence. There has to be something wrong with me to get those results right? But no, nobody gets it. JC is the only shortcut to university. Oh sure. I'm heading towards the dead end cos I took a wrong turn. But seriously, I'm not blaming anyone here. Just myself. My parents invested so much on me, and I really mean invest. Since young they've been giving me the best education. They spent so much, in hope for me to get into a uni in the future. But I stopped the tuition nonsense in primary 6. And I do mean, tuition is nonsense. Tuition is just a mean for educated people to get money by doing primary school homework. I don't learn anything in tuition. Tuition is useless to a primary school kid. Cos these kids just want tuition teacher to do their school homework. Well, I know cos that's what I did and I know of many friends who rely on tuition teacher to do their chinese compo/essay etc.
Ok I just can't continue any longer. Good night.

The world's as complicated as it seems

2010-05-04T00:03:00.002+08:00

First, I'll start my post with the usual fandom. Today's topic shall be about SuG. Well, they've become major when i was in Jrock hiatus. Although I knew Mitsuru left the band like last year, I only read his final blog post just now. I'm sad now. ): His blogpost is just total sadness. ): He kinda looks like Reita. ._. Since then I haven't been catching up with SuG. Watching Love Scream Party just now made me miss Mitsuru even more! ): And I remember I was sad too when Tara left 176biz. shucks.

Ok. Fandom over. Mature talks now.
I'm kinda tired now but I'll try to write as good as I can.
So like today I was at the coffeeshop oppposite my house for lunch and I saw this family with a rich kind of aura around them. And turn out I was right i think. Her daughter was wearing Guess Tanktop, her mom has a... I cannot rmb what but it's branded bag. Then I was thinking. You know when rich people bring out their luxuries like jewellery, bags, watches etc, people will think that they're trying to show off their wealth and so the poorer ones will start criticising them cos they're jealous. But when someone from an average family or less than average family bought some luxury goods, people will think that they're acting rich and start criticising them being afraid of stripping off their pride. So, really, what is the use of luxury goods when you'll just be criticised all the way, not matter how rich or how poor you are? Even when people say, "Wow man you've got an LV bag? So happy for you blah." you know they are jealous.
Shit I just realised I'm written rubbish. HAAH. Sorry I shall sleep now and not cause trouble.

Misconception

2010-05-02T16:21:00.003+08:00

Credits to anyone related to this smex picture. :D Ahem, first of all, Saga-sama is too hot for his own good. He should be charged for his sexiness.

I realised people have this misconception about J-rockers. They think that they look disgusting and weird and scary but actually they are really nice people. I mean, listen to them in variety shows and radio broadcasts and their live. You can sense their sincerity in producing good music for us to enjoy (only applicable to people who are willing to give j-rock a chance). In their private life, most of them are actually very plain! They dress in denim and T-shirts and not in punk clothings and white contact lens. HAHA! Unlike many pop singers, who lip-synch during lives, rockers put in alot of effort to play all the music LIVE, which is seriously not easy. Their songs, though alot of screaming, are usually not nonsensical at all. It is usually sentimental and has a lot of hidden meanings. You just have to read the lyrics. Ok i know I may have said alot of good things about them. The only bad thing about them is that they are vulgar and many find them unacceptable. But they really respect people! When they think they're rude in some ways which may offend others, they apologise! They're very cute :D

Ok enough of my fandom. I'm too tired to think about other things to talk about. I barely slept enough these few days. 6 hours, 4 hours. This is absurd.

Fetish

2010-04-30T00:14:00.001+08:00

Hokaaay. Imma blogging using my Iphone. *hopes for no grammar mistakes*
Alright. I'm listing my fetishes here online. :X haha! I just have the
sudden urge to do it!
1. Thick framed spectacles (I think I mentioned this like a billion
times)
2. The back view
3. Eye liner ASIAN guys. Ang moh guys doesn't look good with eyeliner.
Just look at Adam lambert (hope I didn't spell wrongly)! He look just
like rihanna!
4. Piercings. :DDDD
5. Guys who tie their hair :DDD
6. Guys who tie up their fringe or pin up their fringe <33333
7. Reita, Saga, Aoi are, what the Internet people call, walking
orgasms. Haha! :DDDDDD + <3333333 + (Y)

Sent from my iPhone

Jrock at 4 in the morning

2010-04-28T04:33:00.002+08:00

Yep I just finished watching GazettE's NLSG live! I AM ENERGETIC AND ALIVE. Just looking at Reita and hearing the sound of his bass make my heart pound like mad. And my sis says I'm perverted and crazy. xD

It's 1.12am

2010-04-27T01:11:00.002+08:00

It's 1.12am. And I can't sleep. Rare isn't it? 1.12am and here am I, voluntarily awake. I'm stressed over SAT. I'm stressed because I can't score well in English. And it seems like no matter how many papers I did, I never do well. You know, I feel like a loser. Really. I did 5 papers already. I know others did fewer papers than me. But they did better than me. Do you know how bad I feel? Like, people can just overtake me in terms of grades with so little effort while here I am working my ass off for nothing. And I mean nothing. It's not like the same words are going to appear again anyway. I'm really stressed. I know all I can say is this. I know I'm like a kid who only knows how to whine and go "oh I'm a loser blabla" and just rant off how life's unfair to me. I know, I know. But I can't help it. I know I have to do something about it, but I don't know what. How can I do better?
People have been saying that I'm always lazy and that if I really put in my 100% effort I can do so much better. Somehow I really doubt that. I really think I'm not at all clever. Why do people always think I am? And it's not just one or two. It's my parents, my uncle, Mr Bob Lau, Soon Hock, and many more. Maybe it's just their way of comforting me when I didn't do well for my tests? But I think that what they say is an overstatement.
Many times I've thought about it seriously. I would say I'm clever if I understand something when it is taught to me once. But no, I usually can't understand after being explained to once. I would say I'm clever if I get good PSLE scores, O level and A level scores. But no, I didn't. And this is where the "you could have done better" comes in. "If you didn't go out that much during that time you would've done better". It's not that I didn't study. It's that I couldn't. My mind is not designed to study. Neither is it designed to work as a clinic assistant. But nobody understands. Studying is just like some antibodies you know. It's supposed to help you and it is forcifully injected into you so you'll get better. But for my body, it'll experience some kind of rejection. It's not that I don't want to accept it. But it just naturally gets rejected by the body. I guess not many people can understand what I'm trying to say. Afterall, I'm bad at expressing myself due to my lack of vocabulary and lousy cognitive skills.
But even so I won't give up yet. Maybe I should just do my best as a proud loser.
It's 1.36am now.

EVERYONE'S COMPLAINING ABOUT TEGO-NYAN'S HAIR!

2010-04-26T19:39:00.004+08:00

HAHAHA I guess I wasn't the only one who thinks that Tego-nyan has given up on his hair. xD He was still OK in Tanabata Matsuri but wth his hairstyle now looks like that of DJ OZMA. AN AFRO ): ):
HAHA you know, actually I really like to blog about my favourite Japanese Artistes. I dunno. It just makes me happy when I do that. I think it's cos I have no one to discuss this with. ._.
Anyway, I have this music video to share! I know it's in Japanese so most of you wont be interested. But see the translation!

I really really like the lyrics and the tune. I LOVE TEGOMASS. <3
I don't know who actually watched but ah wells.

2010-04-26T01:14:00.001+08:00

For some bloody strange reason, part of my previous post got deleted.
Is this a way of telling me to stop blogging?

Sent from my iPhone

soon

2010-04-25T12:58:00.001+08:00

And I think I sound despo. Maybe I am cos I'll miss you and I'll keep thinking about you.
Because I'm so sick of reading my grammatically incorrect posts, I've decided to open laptop blog (Like open book test hahha).
Huuuur i'm stressed! "The grass is always greener on the other side" i know i used this phrase like a billion times now. When i was working, i thought studying was better. But now that I'm studying for SAT, I feel like working! D<>.<) We should keep our brain working! AHAH. I know this is an abrupt end to a post but my train of thoughts just got bombed by Al Queda. Hah. Kidding! I cant think properly now cos my head got whacked by some steel ytd. Naw, I wasnt attacked. I was jumping around the playground, trying to elude i-forgot-who and BAM i knocked literally head on with the shelter made of metal. (why do they make the shelter using steel anyway?) It's still hurting now. ):

The horror

2010-04-25T02:04:00.001+08:00

I am utterly horrified and dumbstruck when I reread my previous posts
sent from my iPhone. The England was like horrigible plus terrigable.
No there are no such words I'm just exaggerating. So now, I would like
to apologise for that doesn't make sense and gramatically incorrect
posts and how it must have made you go WTF. Cos I did. The act of
trying to sound mature and intellectual gone horribly wrong. Haha!

Anyway, I LOVE HANGING OUT WITH MY 4e1 CLIQUES. this sounds corny but
I really really really really love all of you so much that I want to
marry all of you! Haha! You guys are the awesomest! <3 (luckily only
some of you read my blog :P)

Sent from my iPhone

もしも, この世界から「ごめんね」て言葉無くなったら。。。

2010-04-24T14:08:00.000+08:00

I hope I got the words correct. Haha! It means "if the world has no
'sorry' word..." I think. I mean, I heard this phrase from Tegomass'
new song! D: which is super nice yeah. :D
Errr, well I guess half of the world population have already forgotten
what the word 'sorry' is. People now are too egoistic to admit their
mistakes. Actually, I don't know if it's their pride or something else
that makes them not say sorry. In cases like, let's say, if there's a
traffic accident and the two owners of the cars involved comes out to
'negotiate' as the term they normally use. Usually both will not admit
their mistakes and what's more they want the other to take all the
blame. Everyone knows that's not right. Nobody should take all the
blame in any situation (yes, not even murder). But what's stopping
them to say "sorry" and just pay for each other's damage? It's easier
than going to court and create all the unnecessary hoo-ha. So is that
pride? Or is it money?
Another scenario to think about is the normal bumping-into-each-other.
And yes, people all over the world do that. And like 95.38495% of them
don't apologise. Whhhhhyyyyy? Is it because they're in a hurry? Is it
because they think we get bumped so many times we should be used to
it? And that it is just normal human contact and it's normal so no
'sorry' is needed in the making? Nah I don't think so. It is not
normal and it is certainly not JUST human contact. It's human violence
if I have to say. But it's a violence that can be forgiven with a
sorry, yes.
Many people don't know the power of an apology. It is really really
really powerful. Ok maybe only to me, maybe you guys are different, I
don't know. I remember a few instances I was mollified by that
powerful word. It's like some healing power. I am not exaggerating.
But then again, if you think about it, if everyone were to be that
nice, wouldn't the world be so boring? :)

Sent from my iPhone

Liu Jiamin!

2010-04-23T20:47:00.000+08:00

Haha! I dunno if you're reading this but then, hurhur. This is super
gay and I was wondering if I should post this cos I feel gay. But
then, I decided to do it cos I think I should? Haha!
Anyway I dreamt last night about sth from the past. And it was a
factual event, not some random doesn't make sense one. The dream took
me back to when we were sec2. Girlfriends, though we're very close, we
are often arguing. I rmb I was very sensitive then. I tend to think
too much, much more than now, and I was emotionally weak. Once,
Crystal was acting quite cold and spoke to me in a rude way. So I was
quite upset and jm noticed it. She asked me what happened and I told
her about it. And she actually went to confront crystal about it!
Hahaha! Maybe you would have forgotten about this, like it never
happened before but for some reason, what you did really made me gan
dong much! Haha! Yeah so this was my dream. And I know other than that
event, you've also helped me much in many ways. Like that unexpected
crashing of your house in tears and those letters you've written. Omg
yeah I still have some of them. Hah!
Anyway just wanna tell you YOU'RE AWESOME. I know you're gonna say I
know. Haha!

Sent from my iPhone

NINO-CHAN IS DAMN BLOODY HAWT!

2010-04-22T15:13:00.001+08:00

Yes yes!! I've finally found their live! Arashi's monster!! Finally, I
don't have to see only part of it from... that regular morning show I
forgot what. Nino-chan is damn damn hawt. But at one point when
matsujun fell on the floor I was like, what is this suddenly?!
But the tune is catchy! :D omg can't wait!
As a bonus, I watched the new tegomass pv! well, the two of them
looked anorexic! Like omg they lost 10kg or sth! The song's nice but
the pv is gay. Very very very gay. Like they are gay for each other
gay. But I love the song! :D

Ok now I'm feeling better. :)

Sent from my iPhone

Bored of SMS-ing

2010-04-21T13:32:00.001+08:00

Yea so like I get irritated when I message some people. I dunno why.
It's like a mixture of irritation and boredom. But it's funny! Like
two different people can be messaging me everyday. But I get bored and
irritated with one and ok ok with another. So then I tried to think of
a reason why. The two people are of the same gender. So it's not a
matter of the gender. After some time, I realised cos one is more
predictable than the other. And that irritating and predictable one is
always talking about the same topic while the other is always about
different things. The irritating one is predictable. It's like the
person would complain about sth, then I would say sth to try to make
the person feel better, then after I sent the SMS, I have this...
Vision of the SMS that the person will send back and yes! I'm ALWAYS
right. Sometimes I really think I'm psychic. Hohoho. But it's
irritating you know, knowing what the person at the other line will
say. It's like might-as-well-do-something-else kind. Agree? YeH. And
another thing is people ranting to me. Like the person will say
blablablawhatthepersonisanassholeblablabla. HOW WOULD YOU REPLY TO
THAT HUH?! so if I say "ok calm down maybe he was in a bad mood so
just bear with it" and that person will be like "aiya dunno lah you
won't understand lah" Then what is the whole bloody point of telling
me? I mean, what do you think? Aiya I dunno lah.
And I really dislike texting guys. First, they take at least 3hours to
reply you. Second, they can never make up their bloody minds (I mean
be a man and be more bloody decisive can). Third, I can hardly
understand their short and punctuation-mark-less text. Forth, they are
not meant to use a cellphone cos they're inaudible in phone convo and
they're ambiguous in their smses. Yes. End of rant. At least I didn't
direct it to anyone.

Sent from my iPhone

"I'm not healed, but for this moment, I'm better"

2010-04-18T14:54:00.002+08:00

Quote taken from Loose Girl by Kerry Cohen, a book that I've recently finished reading. It's a book I've gotten on sale! $12 for a hardcover book! HOHOHO!

Thanks for the very nice SMS bex! Thanks for caring! :D Well, you have to cos you're my lesbo partner (LP-acronym).

This kinda feels like A Levels seriously, for me cos my parents are seriously considering to send me to study in America. Or, if I cannot get in or sth they'll have to appeal to get me into NURSING OH GOD PLEASE HELP ME NO I DON'T WANT A JOB WITH NIGHT SHIFTS IN A HOSPITAL NOOO.

The vocab is seriously killing me. I have to practically use the dictionary for every english question i did. And manz their grammar and sentence structure is VERY different from the British (Oh GAWD).

As I've said, I need a vacation. Can someone please organise one? I can't go with weong to her kelong trip because of SAT. I need a rural escape. Yeah. I always beg my dad for one when I feel stressed. BUT THEY'RE BUSY ): ): ): And WTH my sis is going JAPAN? Walao. Shanghai in March and Japan in June?! And so bloody cheap too like wth $1000 for 7 days?! Maybe cos it's osaka. I wanna go Osaka and listen to them say "nandeyanen" or "Yappa sukiyanen" and their kansai dialects! =3= Mom is considering bringing my bro and I to Maccau and leaving my dad alone in Singapore cos he's busy. Ah well. I need a vacation, if I have to summarize my post.

EMO POST.

2010-04-17T10:56:00.002+08:00

Yes, I guess I always feel like that when my period is coming *nodsnods* but even when i know that it's because of my M, I still want to post! (And maybe regret it later)
I dunno, but i feel like shit. Maybe it's cos people don't bloody reply to my sms-es, maybe it's because my mom wakes me up at bloody 9.30am everyday, maybe because I'm stressed over my SAT, I really don't knooooooooow.
And I realised I have a problem of hurting myself if I'm too angry. HAHA! I quarreled with my parents the other day and before I knew it, I had sunk my fingers into my arm (naw, not so deep). And I stopped. But still, there's a mark! HAHA! Now it looks like freckles.
Sometimes I really wonder to myself why I am still TRYING to hang out with those people whom I don't know ANYMORE? They're like strangers! But when they say "let's hang out!" every 1 year or so, I can't find myself rejecting them. I know I am not close to them anymore, and I've been telling myself I should tell them I want quits cos I don't feel belonged there. And I think they know cos they have mini outings between themselves, so why do they still try to keep this clique together? I really don't find the purpose. I mean, when we hang out and start gossiping or do catching up, they start talking about some particular topic I've no idea what and apparently all of the others do, and when i look shock or whatever, they go like "What? You mean you don't know? Eh you very outdated leh." Like of course? I hang out with you guys as much as i hang out with err, I don't know, my secondary school teachers? And what they expect me to ask them about their lives and not them telling me when they have new updates. Isn't that what close friends really are? You have a new update and you go around telling your close friends. If I have to ask you, doesn't that just mean I'm not close to you? And if I ask you, doesn't that make me bloody desperate? Like I have no friends? Yeah, I know I can post whatever I want cos you guys won't even look at my blog. You guys don't care. So I shan't.
I know I'm gonna regret posting this later and then I'll feel better.
Maybe all I need now is some retail therapy and sleep and a vacation.

2010-03-17T22:50:00.003+08:00

Hey. People has been telling me my blog's dead. Ah well.
Hottest topic of the month? A levels. I dont know. Whenever people talks about that, I just get depressed. Maybe it's cos I think I didnt do well?
And the courses I chose. I've been saying that I wanna do engineering cos I thought it might be fun. Well, on the car sometimes, I'll discuss the courses I wanna go with my parents. Then my mom told me something that made me think. She said I wanted to do engineering not because I really really like it. But because I wanna prove that what guys can do, I can too. At first I was like "nooooo, I'm really interested in engineering!" but slowly, I kinda realised that I don't even know what certain engineering courses I wanna get into does. Like, what do we do in there. I guess I was just desperate to get into an engineering course. But what for, if I have no idea what I am supposed to do. So why so desperate? I dont get why either. But I guess maybe what my mom says is right? That I just wanna prove that I can be as strong as guys? Maybe that's why I acted like I can carry super heavy stuff, and doesn't accept help from boys (and strained my wrist ligament in the end HAHA).
So that's why I decided to choose something other than engineering. Something that is more acceptable for females? Like arts courses.
HAHAH.

Do it the yamapi way!

2010-01-15T20:41:00.001+08:00

When you are stressed/unhappy/bored/happy/nothing better to do, shout "KAAAAAAAAAAASAAAAAAAAAAAAN" (Mother in Japanese)
Now, I'm addicted to shouting that. Luckily my mom's not at home.

LUCKY LUCKY MAN

2010-01-11T13:25:00.002+08:00

HAHA! I've got access to j-one records! :D That means... MORE CARTOON KAT-TUN! :D It's funny. I love cartoon kattun but i don't really like kattun's songs. HAHAHA! But still, I like the boys! They are so funny!
Ok, enough of fangirling.
On a more... serious note...
I have two idiots in my house. Or rather, they are sitting beside me and destroying my wii.
They are none other than bimbo meiqi and stupid ibrahim.
Wii made me realised that... I LIKE BASEBALL! :D :D
Currently googling on baseball recuits in singapore, with no success. TT_TT I wanna learn baseball!

QUESTION.

2010-01-08T08:32:00.004+08:00

IF I THINK GUYS WHO LOOK LIKE GIRLS ARE CUTE, DOES THAT MAKE ME LESBIAN? D:

ANYWAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
Looks like I've almost the same headphones as yamapi HOHOHO. :D

Tantha の Happy Birthday

2010-01-06T22:53:00.003+08:00

ＴＡＮＴＨＡのＨＡＰＰＹ　ＢＩＲＴＨＤＡＹ！一年に一度の魔法特別な日。
(A magical, special day that happens only once a year)

A one day late post. AH well. I hope you had fun ytd, though you didn't sing much. xD
I HAD FUUUUUUUUUUUN as though it was my birthday. HAHAHA!

Johnnys countdown SHORT rant/comments (don't have to read)

2010-01-02T23:41:00.002+08:00

AH WELL. I LOVE IT. <333 Johnny's countdown is the best!
First. Arashi.
Arashi is as good as usual. member aiii~ And they looked like they're closer to their juniors now! Ohno did screwed up the MC part at the end but sho chan to the RESCUE! It was so funny! But ohno's so cute, everyone's gonna forgive him! :D And I love them singing that K8 song. It's just too cute OMG.

Second. NEWS.
As good as usual too. It was lucky they sang weeeek instead of Koi no ABO, which they never fail to screw up ALL THE TIME. xD Ryo wasn't there. :( And what's wrong with yamapi's hair? It looked almost like when they debuted as a 6-member group. D: ugleh. But I forgive him. :D

Third. KAT-TUN.
I THINK. Jin has some kind of mood swing problem. One moment he looked happy and another, moody. And LOL. I think he forgot the lyrics to NEWS' news nippon cos he didn't sing at the last part and just doing some weird actions. Ueda is cho-kawaii with his hair tied up! :D

Forth. Kinki Kids.
WHAT HAPPENED?!!? Tsuyoshi was moody THE BLOODY WHOLE TIME. didn't even smile pls. I think he was sick. AND what happened to Koichi's hair?! TT^TT

Fifth. HEY SAY JUMP.
This is cho-funny. Chinen, if you guys didn't know, is now experiencing his growth. HIS VOICE IS DEEPER NOW! HAHAHAHA! So like in their debut song, "Ultra Music Power", he's supposed to sing with his then high-pitched voice "kaze o kirei" or sth like that. BUT NOW IT SOUNDED SO DEEP! hahahaha! And sounded like he could have go out of tune anytime. HSJ boys are getting hotter yo~

Sixth. Kanjani8.
They are such cute people!! And so funny! And I think they didn't memorise the lyrics of One Love by Arashi cos they were laggu! And so out of tune! xD but their "dance" saved the song cos it's so cute and funny! And also they changed like a million costumes during the live. xD

Seventh. NYC boys.
They just debuted! Not bad for newbies. I might consider listening to their songs.

Eighth. V6.
This group is great. They can dance and their singing is good. In fact, during one of the songs, all six of them did a backflip together! AND HOW OLD ARE THEY! cho-cool! Ken-chan is super cute! :D

Nineth. TOKIO.
no comments. HAHA.

Tenth. Tackey and Tsubasa.
Their songs are goood! :D BUT HOR. Why is it only Tackey who sings solo? HUUUUUUH? Ok fine, maybe cos tackey is way better looking (In fact, he is HAWT). I love his shalala song! :D AND HE IS THE ONLY ONE WHO FLEW! D: Tsubasa is so sweet to rush down to meet Tackey. :D Happy couple!

Eleventh. ABC and kis-my-ft.
I LURVE THEIR DANCING. I really really really do! :D

I think I didn't miss any groups out. JOHNNYS BANZAI! :D Watch the countdown if you can. IT'S SO NICE~~~

lonelyyyyyyyyyyy

2010-01-02T22:25:00.002+08:00

And so I spent my time now watching Cartoon KAT-TUN. They're pretty funny people actually, though they should have more member Ai like NEWS! :D But they are sooooo funny! xD
And so why am I stuck here watching Cartoon KAT-TUN? Cos my mom and sis were watching Mr. Brain waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay ahead of me. And they didn't allow me to watch ep1!! D: TRAITORS, ALL OF THEM! They're like, "Oh your sis will be going to school soon. You can watch alone while she's in school ok?" OMG THAT SOUNDS LONELY! TT^TT

TORA TORA TORA

2010-01-01T16:54:00.003+08:00

TORA = TIGER.
Tiger year (sounds like tiger beer)
ya ya ya. Many people would have gathered here at my blog to read my new year resolutions, their hall of fame, yah dah yah dah. OMG did i just read your mind? Well, it's cos I did the same thing! HAHA!
I had an awesome time yesterday. The whole day spent with my beloved e1s. YEP! FROM 11am TO 6.30am on the 1st of JAN 2010. OMG.

First, the movie review for yesterday. Watched SHERLOCK HOLMES. 3/5. Props and settings were good! Don't get the explaination part though cos it's all too scientific. @_@ Story is also too draggy. And the last part on the bridge. I was like omg when i saw that. Isn't it the same bridge as the one Sebastian and the white angel was fighting on in kuroshitsuji? In London. HAHA!

Second, beloved girls came to stay over. AND HORROR MOVIE MARATHON. :D The first movie was the Exorcist. Total rip off. (we rented 3 movies btw) NO GHOST, hardly any demons too. The second and last movie we watched was 29th Feb. It's a korean horror. THAT WAS GREAT. The story line is awesome. And a few jumpy scenes. Sushan and I were sharing a pillow and hiding behind it. Yes, it was scary. D: D: The ending's kinda twisted and a bit of a cliff hanger cos you dunno whose story to believe. After the 2nd movie, while jess and ss were asleep, py and i were still discussing about the movie and whose story to believe. and then we started talking about ghost stories which made us had goosebumps! AT 4am! D: They went home at 6.30am which i then slept til 1230 at which i woke up to eat and continued to sleep. HOHOHO.

Third, NEW YEAR RESOLUTION: To make as many people as happy as possible. In other words, try not to disappoint/ anger/ hurt as many people as possible and hopefully, 2010 will be a year I'll say would be the best year with no regrets.

Forth. I had considered writing a thank you note here to all my precious loved ones. But because I'm not too good with words and also because I may forget to dedicate these notes to some people, I decided not to. Anyway, not everyone I want to thank reads my blog. HAHA! So like, all in all, people who know they had helped me, in one way or another and no matter how silly the matter is, as long as you've been their for me, as long as I know you care for me, I just wanna say thank you. You yourself should know whether you have been there when I'm down, whether you have bothered to see how I was doing, whether you have helped me, etc. So yeah. My speech for 2010. HURHUR.

Finally. I hope I can be more matured by 2011, as compared to now. :)

omg MAO from SID watches gossip girls wtf?!

DVD charts FANPOST

2009-12-30T11:54:00.002+08:00

Lookie! NEWS' diamond con dvd is ranked 19th WTH! Lower than dbsk and kat-tun?!?!?! NOT SATISFIED! I'm sorry i didn't buy the dvd ok? I'm too poor. :(
But I'm glad that PONYO got 1st. AND OMG ARASHI 2nd and 3rd place?! THEY PWNZOR.

2009-12-29T23:07:00.002+08:00

I'll be attending lessons soon! Yep, I just signed up for some course at British Council! :D
So like I bought a book (couldn't help myself) called DRACULA THE UN-DEAD by DACRE STOKER, who is apparently the decendent of Bram Stoker. Ah well, who knows right? Anyway it's the sequel to Bram Stoker's DRACULA. Going to read it now omg I'm so excited! Hope it is as scary as DRACULA.

Happy person

2009-12-27T00:39:00.001+08:00

I'm really really really happy. Just had a quarrel with my sis. That's
not the happy part. In fact, it was one of our worst fights. She
literally threw a paper into my face. Damn I was super mad and was
swearing in my head. I shouted "you better start to mind your bloody
attitude. Big Asshole." and left the room. But then, MIRACULOUSLY, for
the first time in my life and maybe hers, she apologised to me first
omgwtfbbq! And I asked her "for what?" and she said "for always
blaming you" OMYGOD I teared can! But of cos, I turned the other way.
Really glad that she's matured by 20%.
We're ok now. :D

Sent from my iPhone

2009-12-26T18:48:00.000+08:00

It was so freaking cold in the bus, I had to open a bottle of beer to warm myself. BRR!

Cold ramen

2009-12-23T23:14:00.001+08:00

ohmygosh lunched at TAMPOPO just now with sis and tanthy. Had cold ramen! Oh i think they added addictives or sth cos I WANNA EAT THEM NOW! *Drools*
Oh and the cute manager~~ :D

Current Obsession: PINK

2009-12-22T00:38:00.002+08:00

Yes, I love pink. In fact, I've got a cho-nice pinkXblack earphones from audio-technica. AWESOME OR WHAT! And also a HAWT PINK shorts from Padini. Cho-cool.
It's 12.40 and I can't sleep, though had booze just now. I feel a lil weird, you know, not studying. It's like before A levels, everytime before or after going out, you'll have to do some studying right? So you don't go out late and you don't go out everyday. But now, I think going out late is weird. Going out everyday makes me uncomfortable. AM I WEIRD?! D: I don't feel like going out! But I don't wanna be a party pooper! Thinking about going out makes me tired. Thinking about the long bus/train rides. In the past, there're still notes to study on. Now, NOTHING. Just you and your iPod. Not that you can't read. But it's always like that. When you're at the interesting plot, something will surely happen. Like someone asking you for directions or you realised you've reached your destination. It's irritating. (I had lots of experience with Dracula) And then you'll spend the whole shopping trip or dinner thinking about the plot instead of the conversation you're having, which is bad. Hence, it's just me and my music.
And because I'm a natural otaku, whenever I go out, I'll think of my manga and anime at home and how I would want to watch it. DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.
And And! I think I'm losing my memory! D: I'm serious and this is not a joke. I'm kinda in a zombie mode. AIYA I DON'T KNOW HOW TO EXPLAIN but I can't really rmb what happened during the past few months! And it's irritating.

Anyway, bought L4D2 today. Can't wait to play!

Idle days

2009-12-15T23:08:00.000+08:00

Yep, so my mom has been pestering me to work. Siaaaan. Working seem
so... Boring... I guess I really like my idling days now. Going out
everyday, reading manga, watching dramas and anime, randomly fb-ing,
doing housework... Stress free days. It's not everyday I can do this.
But is this good? I've got a feeling I might get dementia, even at
18years old. I mean, I have STM alr? And if I don't exercise my brains
even more, i'll just be an empty shell soon. So, maybe I really should
go find a job. Yes, classified tmr.

And happy 18th birthday my dear CHARIZARD. :D have fun in china!
Karaoke soon! Let's sing chirarizumu! >D

Sent from my iPhone

PENANG

2009-12-11T23:06:00.002+08:00

No prize for guessing where I am. Yep, Penang. Currently staying at trader's hotel. To be honest, I was kinda disappointed in how the room looks like. :( So different from what the picture shows! :(
Melaka was fun! :D

Malaysia tmr

2009-12-09T23:00:00.000+08:00

yep. And so tmr will be the start of my 5day trip to malaysia! whooooo! ok. FINE. not that exciting but steeeeeeel. It's not singapore!

Addicted to SID. <3

first in a gazillion years

2009-12-08T18:50:00.002+08:00

I'm finally sick. Well, not that I want to be sick but argh. I havent have flu for the past years. It's really uncomfortable. My head feels heavy and painful, my muscles are aching, and it feels damn warm in my room. Well, sometimes hot sometimes cold. WEIRD UH.

And so money flies

2009-12-06T13:42:00.006+08:00

Prom yesterday was a blast. Loved the "mini club". Everyone looked super gorgeous LIKE SERIOUSLY EVERYONE. SERIOUSLYYYYYY! D:
Ok, then had a walk with jiannuren and gaga. Cho-fun~
Got home at around 1.30 AND GUESS WHAT I HAD TO WAKE UP AT 7.10 TO MEET MY GRAMPS FOR BREAKFAST !*&(#*^*&$^ I'm not complaining.
BBQ LATER OMG NO TIME TO SLEEP. (@&*)#*&$(#* I'm not complaining.

2009-12-05T00:28:00.001+08:00

Had a busy day today.
Had last minute shopping with yt. Bought my shoes. And of cos, manga.
How unfortunate siiiiiiia! The mangas I wanted are NOT THERE OMG.
Could this be fate? Had manicure. Love the finishing.
After shopping, rushed down to e-Mon's house to mahjong. Bloody hell
lost 6bucks. Hah. Pissed off.
Prom tomorrow. Bah. Another busy day.

Sent from my iPhone

2009-12-04T00:01:00.001+08:00

Why does it seem like I've been getting lesser sleep after A levels? I
hardly had 9hours of sleep... Fine, a day. I can't sleep at night...
There just seem to be alot of things for me to do. Just completed my
kuroshitsuji. It's cho-nice! But the ending's a lil... Sad. It's
always like that isn't it? Like how you think the show's draggy... But
when it really comes to an end, no matter how happy or sad it is,
there's this feeling like you don't want it to end.
Ok I'm sorry I'm acting weird again. Hikikomori.
But ahhhhh I don't want kuroshitsuji to end! :(
Busy day tmr. :)

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The heels have eyes

2009-12-02T19:03:00.003+08:00

It seemed to me that my cousin, ero, was right in saying that I might die a horrible death if i were to wear my heels to prom. MY LEG FREAKING HURTS AFTER PRACTICING AT HOME.

Result: Mom bringing me to get another pair tmr. Probably Clarke Quay? Call me a spoiled brat.

So during dinnertime my dad was like saying how I am a failure in being a female (as always). Why i can't seem to wear skirt on normal occasions and why it is so difficult for me to do so. Well, I guess it's a habit? I feel uncomfortable in wearing skirts. Is that a good reason? :/
My mom was also blaming herself after she saw me practicing with my heels. She blamed herself for being a failure because I can't walk in heels. WTF no link?
But even so, even if i dont wear skirts, even if i can't walk in heels, I still think I am girlie. I like to scream, I get emotional easily, I fangirl... well, aint that show how girlie I am? I think being feminine does not depend on the appearance. Yes.

Ahhh well, time for kuroshitsuji. My Ciel-sama~

During A Levels.

2009-12-02T14:10:00.003+08:00

Basically this is how I studied at home. >D
Off to watch Diamond Winter Party Con DVD. :D

Otaku... Revived! >D

2009-11-29T12:41:00.001+08:00

Yes I feel like an otaku now hurhur. I don't mind staying at home all
day and read read read watch watch watch play play play. Ohonoho.
Maybe it's hikikomori. *nods*

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Haji Lane :)

2009-11-28T21:22:00.000+08:00

I'm using lappie again!

2009-11-25T15:02:00.002+08:00

So the title says.
Luckily it didn't die in the cupboard. I'm sorry lappie, I've kept you in the dark and made you suffer. And MY GAWD. When I opened it up after a few months, the keyboard was bloody YELLOW in colour. Yes, from white to yellow. Yes, i wonder how that happened... IN THE CUPBOARD.
A levels unofficially ended woohooooooO! like yesterday. But I had so so so so so many things to do I totally didn't bother blogging.
And so after the paper, caught up with Eileen and played basketball with some random people plus two bonus eyecandies! HOHOHO. ~~Reluctantly~~ left after 1hour or I'll be late for shopping with classmates + Lisha!
So got home, vrooooom got ready in 1hour! (I spent 20mins searching for my storybook which was in the toilet. =.=) Thought I'll be late, which i was (5mins). BUT Meiqi was later. HOHOHO!
Anyway, the shopping trip wasn't that, ahem, productive cos there were guys etc etc and they didnt really try on any clothes etc etc. Ah well, shopped til 6 and went bugis to meet yenteng! Dinnered together and shopped at bugis! Bought soft shoes and socks! Comfyyyyy! Got home at 10. Watched Saiyuki with sis, omg saiyuki love! And caught up with Vampire Knights til 1am. Have to wake up at 6 today to help parents watch over the company. YAWNZ. Ah well, I'm cho-happy!
$50 gone yesterday. How am I supposed to survive my holidays? :(

Still can't decide whether I should wear my 3-inch heels to prom. Suggestions? Omg I sound like a bimboooooo!

Still can't study

2009-11-22T17:11:00.001+08:00

Yea. It's 5pm now and I've only completed 2 bloody chem mcqs.
Rar, just can't concentrate!

Neway, watched 'The hills have eyes' ytd. A movie on mutated people.
Bloody sick and gory pls. (pun not intended) in the opening, they were
showing pictures of mutated people as a result of nuclear testing
WHILE playing happy songs! WTF!
Didn't really like the movie though the concept is kinda original.
First it's sick. Second, I can guess what is going to happen. No thrill.
Ah well.

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Bummed

2009-11-20T22:35:00.001+08:00

I dunno. It just seems like i've lost the energy to study. After a
paper I'll just get home, play left for dead, laze around, watch
penguin dad and then start studying at 10pm. To maybe 11. But I'm tired.
My volleyball junior, Jackson, keeps saying "see you next year". Well,
maybe. Haha! But I certainly hope not. Though I keep wanting to study,
I just can't bring myself to. It's such a chore. I just can't bring
myself to love studying.

You know I realized guys are such egoistic and narcarssic creatures.
They go ME ME ME FTW! Not that girls aren't. But guys go a longer way
to show how 'good' they are. Guys go like "Im so handsome" all the
time! Openly! D: and they like to go like "oh there's exams today?
Oooo I didn't know" and guess what they freaking passed. Yes, they are
probably closet muggers. They act like they didn't know about any
tests so that if they scored badly, at least they have an excuse. And
and! They think they are never in the wrong. They go around blaming
everyone and everything but themselves when they did something wrong.
Maybe something like "oh you know it was so bloody cold in the hall,
that's why I couldn't score well." or "oh actually I know how to do
this question. It's just that I ... Well ... I hurt my leg." get my
point? Well, sometimes it does get onto my nerves.

Ok nightie!

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Omg few days left!

2009-11-18T21:38:00.000+08:00

I can't wait! Orchard this weekend! Can finally stock up my manga, buy
my books, take a look at DrMartens... Well that's about all. Can't wait!

Sent from my iPhone

2009-11-17T15:19:00.001+08:00

But on the happier note, kino sales starts on 19th and ends on 22nd!
Omg can't wait!

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Lonleh

2009-11-17T15:18:00.001+08:00

And so here I am, home alone. You know. I got tricked by my mom, well,
unintentionally. Yesterday night she was asking me if I'll be home
after papers *today cos she might be having lunch alone at home. Those
who knows me know I won't leave my mom alone so I agreed. This
morning, to my surprise, she was in her office clothes!

So I said, mom, are you going somewhere later? She said yup, to the
office. So I said, but didn't you said you'll be home alone today?
What about lunch with me? She said, oooh I'll be back before lunch.

So I kinda got suspicious. But still living life normally. So after my
paper I called her and she said she was on her way to fetch me. Ok, so
I waited 30mins for her to fetch me... to the bank, where she told me
to run some errands. Deposit checks and what nots. Wah thanks. Then
drove me home. Got my lunch from the mall opposite. She didn't even
eat with me lah! Oh and not only that, she left when I was eating
halfway to have lunch with my dad. Power ttm. Tricked me successfully!
Now I'm alone at home and feeling lonely! :( while she is STEEL out
with my dad.
My life... Is sad.

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Sinus.

2009-11-16T21:53:00.001+08:00

This sucks. I'm going into hibernation mode! Before, it was ok for me
to sleep for 6hrs. Now? 9hours is not even enough. Help!

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Nine more days til partial freedom!

2009-11-15T10:57:00.000+08:00

The title speaks all! :D can't wait! My Dr Martens!

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Hello I'm bored

2009-11-14T21:25:00.000+08:00

Can't panic now. Therefore I shall relax. Hence I'm now bored. Did 1.5
chem paper and 1physics paper. Today's quite productive! :D

Shall attempt to read the all important ECONS! Yay!

Anyway, these are some of my random thoughts for today.
You know what? I'm actually homesick! Spending hours and hours in
school every bloody day, cept Sunday. Can't go home cos I know I'll
sleep and wake up all grumpy. And school has lots of on-the-go lecture
books! :D just grab some random passing teacher or top scorer and bam!
You'll get an answer! So convenient!

And! I think my sis is having her rebellious period! D: she gets angry
at every bloody thing, easily too! Rar! Makes me sad and angry. :
( whyyyy? I'm so nice to her! And she's always angry with me! My
brother too! He won't let me hug him! :( and to think i'm always
buying gifts for him. Kids. Tsk tsk.

Talking about kids, bloody hell. Kids should be taught manners ok!
First is on my way to school, I was walking on this narrow path
surrounded by wet grass. The path is just right for 2 people walking
side by side. And so, bloody hell, I was walking normally when this
stupid kid who was holding hands with her sister walked opposite my
direction. Bloody hell use your brains? She bloody expect me to step
on the disgusting grass? (which I bloody hell have to since she's a
kid) why can't she just walk in a single file for just one second?
Dumb people.
And then it's this girl kid who was helping her dad at his food stall.
Omg give black face all the way and didn't even bloody answer my
question lah. How in the world can you attract customers like that?
Don't bring your kids out to work!

Ok enough rants. Goodnight!

Sent from my iPhone

2009-11-13T21:42:00.001+08:00

Gym-ed today! Finally! My arms are becoming bigger! :( nooooo! It's
supposed to look muscular but somehow look fat. -.- something wrong.
Well, I didn't cry today. Math was okok. Just hope I can get A. If I
can't get A for math, what else can give me an A?
But then, even so, bex just have to send me this stupid touching sms
that bloody made me tear! Rar.
Mr andrew was also particularly sweet lah. If he weren't married I
would have fallen in love with him! :X ok kiddingz lah. His messages
are somehow comforting, I don't know how. And his presence too. It
just kinda feel like... he's somehow special. I don't mean LOVE lah
people! I don't know how to describe. Bex feel it too. Ah well, he's
the best! He believes we can do well! Oh no! Another reason to add
into my list of stress.

Sent from my iPhone

2009-11-12T19:58:00.001+08:00

I've never felt this stress! And it's like a chain reaction. The
stress keeps piling up after every paper. So far I think I screwed up
all the papers. It makes me shudder just to think of it, and all the
mistakes I've made. In fact, I had a nightmare of math paper and me
screwing it up big time. I woke up in the middle of the night with
beads of sweat. This is what happens when you know you haven't done
enough preparation.
And this stress doesn't only last for a day. Since last week, though
it's embarassing for me to say, I've been crying to release my stress
level everyday. And I mean everyday. First is the guys who believe in
you, who thinks I can do it. I don't want to let them down. Second, my
pride. I don't wanna retain. Third, money. That would mean spending
another $10,000 on whatever shits you have to buy all over again.
INCLUDING donations to the school. Harhar. Forth is that I realized I
havent finish my preparation. Fifth, it doesn't help when people comes
out of the exam saying that the paper's a piece of cake when you think
it's bloody difficult.

I'm tired, I seriously am. Believe me, my eye bags are like as big as
a gyoza and I actually have dark rings around my eyes.

Can't wait for exams to end. I'm going to sleep for 14hours.
Sent from my iPhone

2009-11-11T20:26:00.001+08:00

A levels is scarier than it sounds.

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Before I decay - the GazettE

2009-11-10T11:18:00.001+08:00

Their new PV is freaking awesome. Aoi and reita are t3h sm3x. Omgz!
Great headbanging tunes and they headbang-ed! :D awesome! It just
occurred to me that reita has not changed his hairstyle since... Silly
god disco? But he's still my ultimate love! :D *fangirls*

Ok I'm just super nervous and am trying to find ways to calm myself
down.

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Living in my own world

2009-11-08T23:02:00.001+08:00

I can't wait for A levels to end, so I can see everyone smiling
again. :)

It sucks when you see people suffer because of this stupid yet
important thing called the A levels. It sucks when you can't meet your
beloved friends that often.
But then again, you can finally see who really cares for you and who
abandons you when you need the support. To all my friends, thank you
for giving me the support I need, physically, emotionally and mentally.

To bex and bra and Joel: you guys are my studying partners. Thanks for
tolerating my irritating questions an also my sudden breakdowns.
Thanks for just being there. It makes a hell lot of difference.

To yenteng and Sam: thanks for being great coffeeshop and tabletennis
buddies. Really helped me to relieve my stress.

To eileen: thanks for always quarrelling with me and making my day.

To Jiaqi: though you MIA and you won't be reading this, thanks for
believing I can do well.

To Jessica and peiyi: thanks Jessica for making so many sweet stuffs
for me to encourage me during these times. And peiyi, thanks for all
the gossips and catching up.

To birdie Lau: Lau sushan my good old partner. Thanks for the sms!

To my tutors: I want to thank especially Mr Raymond Andrew for all the
time he had made for all the consults. Words and actions alone are not
enough to express my thanks to him. He has certainly helped me through
this year and I finally passed my gp! And and also mr Nordin, who
*thinks* I am good in physics (which I think otherwise). He is always
trying his best to explain whatever doubts we have. And ok lah, mr
Lau? For teaching me like everything is common sense. Ms Eng who
always postpone my consult at the last minute and whom I think is
skeptical of my chem. Mrs ting whom I have a love hate relationship.
Yahdah.

To my other beloved friends: thanks for all the texts of encouragement
and also the side-gossip and the what-nots.

Just wanna say I really appreciate what you guys have done. :) though
you might think you did nothing much but that small little things that
you have said might make a big impact on me. Omg I sound freaking
corny and disgusting. Shut up.

Sent from my iPhone

2009-11-08T17:13:00.000+08:00

Took a look at my fb today. 8friends uharhar.
And and and! I don't find the need to go prom shopping alr! I've got
what I need! :D and I know what I can wear! And yea, it's a dress ok!
-.- I don't get why everyone is so against me wearing pants! D< and
I'm so going to tower over the guys! Yes, I shall stomp there with my
3inch tall high heels! :D
No worries though, I'll still tag along if any girls (or guys) ask me
out for prom shopping!
Need to slim down. No pudding!

Sent from my iPhone

D:

2009-11-08T00:02:00.000+08:00

As she picked up her pen again and starts to write, she began to
wonder if her answers are correct. Little did she know the horror that
awaits her behind the windows infront of her. She continued to write.
Still unaware of her surroundings; totally engrossed in solving the
darn math question. Suddenly, she felt a tap on her hand. At first she
thought it was just her imagination. But then she heard the sound:
bzzzzzbzzz. She lifted her hands. OMGWTFBBQ IT WAS A BLOODY BUG (ok it
was brown). 'paapaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" she screamed for her dad.
Super papa came to the rescue and threw the stupid bug out of the
window. She pity the unlucky one who is standing below.

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Tze czar

2009-11-06T21:55:00.001+08:00

First time eating tze czar with friends! Sam and yt. Yerhurhur. After
that played tabletennis till 9+pm when I started rushing Sam to go
home. Ran home omg so scary. :X I think some wandering spirit ran home
with me cos when I came out of the toilet I thought i saw someone
walking into the kitchen but there wasn't anyone there. Hmm. :/ I
think it's my imagination.
Going to spiritually study with yenteng and probably Sam soon. We're
going to study till late ok! :D

Sent from my iPhone

2009-11-05T21:59:00.000+08:00

Damn, and my siblings have to just watch boys over flowers now. It's
embarrasing to say this but... I wanna watch too, :( endurance, TYJ.
Tasted one of the most spicy tomyum fish noodles ever in my life. I
was practically crying when eating. Even my lips were perspiring. Damn
unglam. But heck. The fish was nice! Bloody 5bucks gone and I bought
two iced milo for the post-effect of the spiciness. Hur. :(
Can't wait for As to end.

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0343hr

2009-11-05T03:46:00.001+08:00

I can't believe me, who has no problem sleeping at 8pm at night, has
problem sleeping today! I'm bloody awake at this ungodly hour! Le
gaspa! No, to be exact, I have not been sleeping today. Ze horror pls!
Stress is catching up on the usually carefree TYJ. Help me!

Sent from my iPhone

Devastated

2009-11-04T21:20:00.000+08:00

Stupid volleyball camp from 20-23nov wth! I'll still be having
papers. :( mom doesn't allow me to go for the BBQ on 20th. Somehow I
feel disappointed. How many times in my life can I have a BBQ with the
volleyballers? Huuuuur. But then again, I should prioritize my work.
Le sighz. :(
Anyway omgwtfbbq I forgot to blog about this yesterday. There was this
bloody bitch from our school who bloody pointed her middle finger at a
BABY who was looking at her. How demented can she get?! She is a
bitch, who looks like a bitch, skinny, fair, tall, curly hair, red
crumpler bagpack, j1. Bloody bitch, indeed.

Sent from my iPhone

2009-11-04T09:36:00.001+08:00

My back is seriously hurting. I think cos of the benches. :( and mAybe
cos of constipation.
Anyway. I'm taking a break off the benches to the comfort of my own
cushioned chair! :D hope it helps. :(
Omg I slept for 10-11 hours today? Omg someone shoot me!!

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WHYjelly.

shucks.

Sorry, I need a place to save my vids.

In 08Days.

If I can,

SHINee FANDOM :D

OHNO SHINEE D:

Moody me,

bodyache

I'm a YouTube addict! D:

reminisce, just for abit.

I am NINEteen today

down and under

Orson Oh should be burnt alive!

I need and want.

when there's nothing else to say

Ok, so now I got accepted.

Boyfriends

stolen meme!

I type with my right pinkie up.

Busy, not busy, busy, not busy

blogging is how i keep my mind working

randomly here and there

): again

boys

):

I'm ok

untitled.

life sucks

Me of little faith

contrast

):

emotions like rollercoaster

I am a MISANTHROPE :(

Fishmongers

if only

The world's as complicated as it seems

Misconception

Fetish

Jrock at 4 in the morning

It's 1.12am

EVERYONE'S COMPLAINING ABOUT TEGO-NYAN'S HAIR!

soon

The horror

もしも, この世界から「ごめんね」て言葉 無くなったら。。。

Liu Jiamin!

NINO-CHAN IS DAMN BLOODY HAWT!

Bored of SMS-ing

"I'm not healed, but for this moment, I'm better"

EMO POST.

Do it the yamapi way!

LUCKY LUCKY MAN

QUESTION.

Tantha の Happy Birthday

Johnnys countdown SHORT rant/comments (don't have to read)

lonelyyyyyyyyyyy

TORA TORA TORA

DVD charts FANPOST

Happy person

Cold ramen

Current Obsession: PINK

Idle days

PENANG

Malaysia tmr

first in a gazillion years

And so money flies

The heels have eyes

During A Levels.

Otaku... Revived! >D

Haji Lane :)

I'm using lappie again!

Still can't study

Bummed

Omg few days left!

Lonleh

Sinus.

Nine more days til partial freedom!

Hello I'm bored

Before I decay - the GazettE

Living in my own world

もしも, この世界から「ごめんね」て言葉無くなったら。。。